I am still alive!

So it has been a while since i blogged.  Last blog i told you of all the stomach issues that i am having and how the doctor wanted me to have another surgery as he feels all my issues were due to the band.  He wanted me to have gastric bypass.  Well i made an appointment in Coulumbia Missouri to see Dr Del Torre.  The next day i lost my job...not only did i lose my job, on the way home i got into a car wreck and totaled our car.

Well i am recovered and now working two part time Jobs.  One at Hardees and the other is at a store called Herbergers that i have worked part time at for sometime.  I had to cancel my appointment because we just do not have the money to go down there or really even for our copay.  So everything is on hold.

I really feel like everything is falling out of control.  I have no fluid in my band, meaning i have ZERO restriction and to make it worse i have been so depressed over the job loss....it was the first time i have ever lost a job!  And also so depressed over not being able to find another full time job.  I just feel lost and like everything is out of my control.  And what do i always do when i am depressed???  You guessed it.  I eat.  I have put on 15 pounds.

To try to combat that for the time being i joined a website WWW.SparkPeople.com They have nutrition trackers and fitness trackers.  You get a spark page that is kinda like facebook for spark members.  There are all sorts of teams you can join.  I even joined an online book club.  I started following their calorie guidelines a week ago and have lost some of the weight.  This is just going to have to do until we can afford for me to go back to a doctor.

Some days my stomach still kills me.  I am taking omeprazole 2 times a day to combat that and the surgeon in Kirksville gave me some antibiotics to help the gastritis .  So that is where i am.  I will be posting on here as it seems to help me keep on track if i write down things.

That being said there are some members of mine and my husbands family that i do not talk to about this stuff at all.  My older sister gave me the i told you so speech when i started having issues.  She was never supportive of me to begin with.   As for my husbands family, i love them to pieces but i do not feel comfortable talking to them about this issue.  I just always feel like i am being judged.  That does not help anyone.