Favorite Quotes

"People who claim they're evil are usually no worse than the rest of us. It's people who claim that they're good, or any way better than the rest of us, that you have to be wary of. "
— Gregory Maguire (Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West)

"The greatest happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved - loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves."
- Victor Hugo

"Sooner or later the day comes when you can't hide from the things you've done" -Battlestar Galactica

Playing dress up in Salem, MA

Playing dress up in  Salem, MA


Love the Iowa Hawkeyes!


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Monday, August 29, 2011

A little late but here I am!

Alright here is my background.  My name is Betsy.  I have been overweight for my entire life.  As long as I could remember.  I was miserable for the majority of my life.  Everyone knows that kids are cruel.  The kids at my school were no different.  Not a day went by that I didn’t get made fun of while walking to and from class or even when in class.  It was awful.  I was lucky I had some great friends.  But in 10th grade my Mom moved us to a new town.  The only good thing about the move was that I met my best friend and the woman who was to be my maid of honor when I got married.  The rest of them for the most part ignored me or tormented me.  I was such an unhappy person. 

As I got older, I always had friends but I still was just miserable.  I used food as a comfort and a friend.  I see that now.  I never did before.  When I met the man that would become my husband, whom I met on line, I was terrified that he would hate me when we first me in person.  But I was very happy when my weight did not seem to be an issue to him. 

Right before our wedding in 2009 my boss at the time, had lap band.  And I decided to check it out.  I talked to a few people and then jumped right in.  I, like everyone else thought it would be a quick fix.  That the weight would fall off and it would be easy.  Boy was I wrong.

I went into it with the wrong mindset.  I thought the band would do the work for me.  Surgery recovery was not too bad.  I took the entire 4 weeks off of work because I had the time.  Also because I needed a break from a stressful job.  As I got better, the weight did fall off at first.  But then it halted.  I had my first fill and it got a little better.  But because I was not working so hard, or as hard as I should have , I found ways to eat around my band.  So of course my weight went up and down.

In 2010 my husband and I moved to SE Iowa.  Back to his hometown.  His job in NY transferred him.  But for the first time since I was a teenager, I was unemployed.  I had a very hard time finding a job.  I was also so depressed.  I missed my Dad, my sisters and most of all my 5 year old niece.  When I did find a job it was only part time.  I had a lot of time alone.  I ate a lot and gained more weight. 

When I started working fulltime I hated the job.  The man I worked for was a jerk who treated us like idiots.  But I got motivated to lose weight again when I got a wakeup call.  I saw my primary doctor and my blood pressure was high.  Since I had a hard time finding a lapband doctor that would take on a previously banded patient(yes I was told my 3 offices they would not take me because I already had a band) I joined Weight Watchers and the weight came off nicely.  In February of 2011 I got my current job at a hospital 45 minutes away.  I found Dr David Kermode.  My current Lapband doctor.  I saw him he gave me a fill.  IT was WAY too tight.  I could not even get water down!  So the very next day he took a tiny bit out and I was great.

With my fill and a lot of hard work I have lost almost 40 pounds since February.  I have now lost almost 90 pounds since my first appointment in Buffalo to today.  IT has taken hard work and determination.  People think that the band is going to make it all better.  In truth, it helps, but you have to be willing to work.  People who have the surgery and those supporting us need to realize that it is not a cure all.  You have to want it, you have to work hard.  The band does make it easier but not without you wanting it to work.

Now recently I have been having a lot of problems.  It started months ago with mild heartburn.  That has gotten worse over the past months where the heartburn is now unbearable.  I have tried every medicine over the counter and a few prescription ones.  I went to the doctor last week and told him my symptoms.  Persistent heartburn , waking up at night choking on acid, not being able to keep any food down, somedays not even water.  My doctor told me it is one of 3 things GERD, but with that the medication should work.  It could be a hiatal hernia or a slipped lapband.  I am very nervous about any of them.  Two would mean surgery.  So in 2 days I will be going for a upper GI series of xrays.  I just want to be better.  I am exhausted!